Yes, the abbreviated F word is absolutely necessary in the title of this post. When you find a therapist that works well for you, and believe me, that’s not all of them, it does wonders! I’ve tried various therapists over the years that I have lived with mental illness and one did turn out to be pretty good, but she left the practice before we got past about a year of counseling. Since then it has been a series of starts and stops with a few people. When I decided that I finally needed to conquer my past and learn how to move on from my trauma, I lucked out with who I got connected with.
Psychology Today is where I was told to look. I highly recommend it to anybody who is on the same search for a therapist. What’s important to know about this website is that once I picked a therapist that I was interested in meeting with, I did NOT have to wait months to get an initial appointment like I’ve had to do in the past when going through the local hospital system or other private clinics. It was only a matter of a couple of weeks. The initial phone consultation was within a few days.
I have only been seeing my therapist since October or November. Probably not even 10 appointments yet. I didn’t expect much to improve in such a short number of meetings. Working through the trauma of your past takes time. I know that. But each session with my therapist has me learning something new about what I have been through and the connection to how I am today.
The inspiration for this post, however, comes from the session I had yesterday evening. After a weekend of intense anxiety and sadness that I attributed to my husband being away on a work trip, the anxiety only deepened and got more intense after he got home on Monday. When I recounted every bit of what transpired in my life after my husband left for this trip, my therapist was able to immediately recognize what happened that triggered the intense negative feelings. What she said made so much sense! But it also angered me. It made me mad that I am so affected by seemingly random triggers. I want so badly to not be affected by all the things that tend to set my feelings spiraling downward. But, as she pointed out, there may always be triggers. She’s working on teaching me how to deal with them so that the spiral doesn’t start. So I can redirect my brain and challenge the thoughts that creep in.
Bottom line, I left the session with her feeling better than I had in four days. I didn’t think I would. I was honestly so confused about why I was feeling as badly as I was. That’s what therapists are there for. They see what we can’t because not only are they objective outside observers, but they aren’t also clouded with emotion. They can see clearly where we can’t.
As an advocate for ending the stigma surrounding mental illness, this is yet another thing that people need to know. Go to therapy! Don’t be afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, shy… just f’ing go! It will help in ways that sometimes you can’t even understand.
Leave a Reply