What I’m doing and why I’m doing it—Journaling for Mental Health: A 30-Year Journey
Well, tomorrow I go back to school. It’s going to be different not having boyfriend #1 come behind me at break and poke my sides like he always used to do. Boyfriend #2 is giving me a Guess! Watch and a diamond ring tomorrow for Christmas, or so he says. It kind of makes me feel bad because I only got him a keychain with my picture in it. His ex-girlfriend, girl #1, who is completely and totally in love with him, called a truce with me when she called me a biatch and I told her I was going to kick her ass. Maybe I should try to be her friend. I mean it couldn’t hurt. My best friend, best friend #1, is back from Ohio. Of course, she got better Christmas presents than me. Sometimes I get jealous of her, because she’s a cheerleader and because of the tons of friends she has. Sure, I have friends but not close friends like hers. She’s so much more populare than me. But at least I’m not afraid to make-out with a boy.
It’s really interesting reading this particular post. I start talking about my best friend at the time. Well, one of them. It’s interesting because of what I know now. Not only about her but about boyfriend #1. With this being almost 30 years ago, I know how they are today, but also what happened to that friendship with her and the relationship with him. I almost feel like I shouldn’t say anything. Spoiler alert! So I’ll keep it to myself for now. I’ll just say, I’m not jealous of her anymore. To be fair, at this adult age I am now, I think I’m too old for jealousy of anybody, let alone someone I was friends with 30 years ago.
This post reinforces to me just how important my friends were and how influential they were. This is true of every adolescent I believe. Obviously, friends have a positive or a negative influence. That’s just how it is at that age. I don’t think I was any different. This particular friend was the first one I made when my parents and I moved to North Carolina.
Contrary to how I was where we used to live in Georgia, I became super shy in my new school. At the time of this journal entry, I was only a year and a half into my new school. In Georgia, I had grown up with the people I went to school with. I knew them well. Here, I didn’t know anybody. They were the same in terms of having grown up with each other. I was the new girl who wore weird outfits and read a book during the middle of the day break instead of socializing like everyone else. I don’t think I knew how to make friends. I just always had them where I came from. I also didn’t have the confidence in myself to just start talking to people. Thirty years later and I still struggle in that area. I’m getting better though. Making friends as an adult is probably harder than when you’re a kid. I’ve seen that expressed online and I don’t disagree.
Stay tuned…
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