Outgrown

My hobbies have remained pretty consistent throughout my life. I learned to crochet when I was a single-digit age and still like to do it. I’ve since added knitting to the list with plans to start spinning fiber into yarn in the near future. My best friend and I stayed in touch by writing letters after I moved to North Carolina when I was 12. As a result, I still enjoy sending snail mail to random people I know. In fact, all of my in-laws are going to get Valentine’s cards next week. I’ve added scrapbooking and card making to that as well. Reading is a hobby that I’ve had my whole life and I still do it now. In fact, more so now because I don’t have any books that I have to read for my job or for grad school.

Activities that I’ve outgrown though is a much more interesting and diverse list. I have recently outgrown spending a weekend worrying about work. As I’ve been going to therapy, I’ve learned how to counteract triggers that pop up and make me feel anxiety. Most of those triggers are the result of my old job. I refuse to waste my at home time worried about anything work related. My new mentality is that “it’s just a job”. I’m not invested. I go to work so I can have money and health insurance. That’s it.

I have also outgrown the fear of saying what’s on my mind. Well, mostly. I’m still working on that one. The crucial years of my life taught me that it was dangerous to say what I was really thinking. Now that it’s important for me to do that as an adult, it’s been hard getting over that fear. But again, therapy is helping me outgrow that.

And that’s the thing about the term “outgrown”. For me, “outgrown” doesn’t mean growth from childish activities to adult ones as I have gone through different stages of life. “Outgrown” for me means that my adult self has grown as a more mentally healthy person and no longer has the same fears and anxieties that I took with me from adolescence to adulthood. I’m not done growing, but man am I excited to see what I look like when I am.