Honestly

I have written quite a bit about running, which is, for me, the most fun way. Well, unless we’re talking about other activities that are of a much more private nature that are fun to do with my husband (wink, wink). But since this prompt has come around for the third (?) time, I’m going to stretch the meaning of exercise here. I will simply say that exercising my freedom of speech is pretty fun for me. At least lately anyway. I have gradually developed an “I don’t care” attitude when it comes to saying things. I’m getting more and more brave. A couple weeks ago I posted something on my Facebook page that directly related to the toxic job I quit last year and why exactly I quit. Not many people know why I really left. It got attention and at first, I was anxious and thought about deleting it, but, as my old boss used to say whenever she’d say something rude and ugly about someone, “I’m just being honest”. For context, my old boss is the reason I left.

Social media is one thing though. I’m getting good at using my voice digitally through what I write and post, however, in “real life”, it’s been a slower journey. My mother and I talked on the phone last weekend (a rare event these days), and when she began a series of comments that could very much be considered gaslighting, or at the very least minimizing what I have endured in my life, there were quite a few things I wanted to say. Some things I did, but the things I really wanted to say, I didn’t. I’ve been learning a lot about my boundaries lately and I know that if there’s another conversation like that one, I may very well exercise my new freedom/voice to say those things I didn’t say last weekend.

So not necessarily physical exercise, but this “exercise”, this practice of using my voice is pretty awesome, dare I even say fun. I’m enjoying it, even if it does raise eyebrows and may lead to me cutting off communication with my mother again. I’m just being honest.