What does freedom mean to you?
It is a coincidence that this question came up today, May 11th. Because on this day one year ago, this is what freedom looked like to me…
One year ago, freedom meant that I was done with grad school, a 2-year journey that I never wanted to take but did because I was afraid to say “no” to someone who asked me to do it. Graduation meant that I was free from ever having to do school work at home in my spare time again. My “free” time was actually free again.
The director of the program I graduated from thanked me for coming to graduation that day. He said he was happy I chose to come. Though I had finished everything required for my masters degree, he and I both knew that I was not going to use the degree for its intended purpose. My degree is a Masters in School Administration. After a year of being an interim principal and being offered the permanent position with a substantial pay raise, I turned it down and quit the school where I had worked for 19 years. I had no intention of being a principal there or anywhere else. And yet, I put on that cap and gown and sat in the front row with my other cohort members and walked across the stage as my name was called. I went because I had struggled and fought my way through those two years and damn it, I was going to celebrate being done!
One year later and that freedom from grad school and the freedom from my job as a principal and that whole school environment altogether, feels just as good now as it did then. My free time is still free. My freedom now means getting to say and do basically whatever I want without fear of repercussions. Obviously there are still societal standards that I have to follow. I mean, there are laws for a reason. But I don’t want to break the law with this freedom. I just want to keep doing what I’ve been doing. And that is saying whatever I want online and in-person. Not only saying what I want online, but not hiding my identity when I do. (I’m Sarah Panter by the way. Nice to meet you). It also means getting a massive tattoo on my arm that will be impossible to keep covered up at work, but this new freedom means I don’t have to cover it up (the appointment for part 2 of my tattoo is tomorrow by the way).
With all of that said, right now, freedom simply means whatever I want it to mean. My life is my own again. Whatever I want to do with it, I can. And I will.
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