Truth be told, this prompt, for me should be, describe the man, not a man who positively impacted my life. The only two men who have really been in my life in a way that could have any kind of impact are my father and my husband. There isn’t anybody else.
I am not a woman who could be considered as a “daddy’s girl”. In fact, the best way I can explain my relationship with my father is by referencing those dead dad tshirts. I’ve seen them advertised on Instagram. They’re tshirts that make fun of the fact that your dad is dead. One of them might say, “go ahead, tell my dad” and then there’s a picture of a Ouija board. They’re funny, and I kind of want one. My dad’s not dead, but he pretty much is to me.
So he was definitely not a positive influence. But my husband was. I’ve written about him many times before. In fact, I think several years ago there was a post that I made all about him. Unsung No More. This was written in 2017 when my mental health was stable and my life was in a lull. I was teaching and had not yet even considered grad school. Perhaps my old boss had already asked me about going into administration. I don’t recall the timeline for the previous times she asked me. It was the third time when I finally said yes.
There’s a lot that I could say about my husband. In fact, I could write a whole book about him. We’ve been together for 25 years. There’s plenty of things to say. And plenty of things he’s said and done that were positive.
But I guess the most recent thing was the night we sat around our backyard fire pit on a Friday night after I had a really terrible day at work. Work, at the time, was me being the principal of my school.
That was the first time I seriously questioned quitting. We spent hours out there talking and sipping on adult beverages. We discussed the pros and cons and every conceivable aspect of quitting.
Ultimately, at the end of the night, he told me he would support me in whatever decision I made. He has always said that to me. That night was the most impactful time he said it. Because I did quit my job and he was true to his word. He supported me through every step of it. From finishing grad school (and sitting through my entire 4-hour graduation), to my last day at my old job, to job hunting over the summer and ultimately finding my new job. I know it was stressful for him for me to be without a job. I had money saved but he also hates his job and I know there was pressure for him to not rage quit since at least one of us needed to have an income. To be fair, I’ve had a new job now for over a year and he still hasn’t rage quit. But my goal is to make enough money so that he can if he wants/needs to. His support for me when I did it is something I’d like to do for him if I can.
His support during all of our 25 years, but especially this past year and a half has been incredibly important to me. I don’t think I could have done this without him. I mean, I guess I could have. My life would just not look the same now if I had to do it alone.
Alone is something I never am with him. And that’s amazing because he and I have built an incredible life together. Just the two of us. Well, technically just the six of us. Our dogs and cats are a part of our life together too. And what a wonderful life it is.
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