Brave

Music/movie Monday

I was listening to my “inspirational” playlist in my car the other day. The song “Brave” by Sara Bareilles came up. This is one of the first songs I added to this playlist. The song came out in 2013 and even back then this song resonated with me. In fact, back then, it made me cry a few times.

I remember a day just before I was to lead my first pastoral council meeting. That was the group that served the church and recommended things to the pastor and made decisions behind the scenes. I was deep in the grooming that my “mentor” was doing to me. Being on the pastoral council was yet something else she “suggested” for me. She and the current pastor saw eye to eye on almost everything and whether it was her suggestion or his, I ended up on the council. I believe it was his decision to nominate me to be the chair of the council when the position became open. I was unanimously voted in and that meant leading all the meetings.

The day before I led the first one, I was terrified. There were two songs I listened to on repeat to psyche myself up for doing this thing that was so far out of my comfort zone that it made me physically uncomfortable to think about. The first song was “I Have Confidence” from “The Sound of Music” and “Brave” was the second one. I cranked this song up in my living room and sang with my whole chest to it. It led to me crying through it a few times as I listened to it on repeat.

I wanted to be brave like the song describes. I wanted to be able to say what I wanted to and do it with ease. I wanted a way out of my cage.

And I did it. I was the leader of the pastoral council for two years which was the limit in the bylaws. Of course, leading that committee was just one more addition to the long list of other duties my “mentor” gave me in order to get me ready for her final mission for me.

The signficance of this song changed for me in 2024 as I summoned every ounce of courage I could to be brave enough to quit my job. I said what I wanted to. I quit. And I stuck to it.

As I went through my healing journey in 2025, I often skipped over this song in favor of other songs that spoke more directly to my inner transformation and becoming who I was meant to be.

But the other day, when this song came up, I left it on. And for the first time in a long time, I listened to the lyrics. This time, I felt something profoundly different.

These are the lyrics I pulled from Google and the thoughts I had as I listened:

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug (I sure can! I have absolutely turned words into a weapon! I used the phrase “toxic workplace” several times in an email to the person who was creating the toxicity. That was my weapon against what they were trying to do to me).

You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave (I have absolutely been saying what I want to say lately. I wanted to see myself be brave. I have wanted to see that for my entire life and now I see me).

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out (Those words just fall out all over the place now).
Honestly I wanna see you be brave (I did too! Look at me now!)

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy (Yes! We have! And now? I stare back).
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty (I did! I don’t anymore though).
But don’t run, stop holding your tongue (Yep! No more running and absolutely no more holding my tongue).
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live (Yes! There is a way out and I found it!)
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in (I did!)
Show me how big your brave is (It’s SO big now!)

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave (This is almost like my past self encouraging my present self. The old me wanted to see this. And here I am).

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good (It absolutely did not!)
Did you think it would? (Nope!)
Let your words be anything but empty (They are absolutely not empty! I mean what I say!)
Why don’t you tell them the truth? (I did! And I am!)

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you (I wanted to see me too. And I see myself now and I am absolutely the kind of brave I wanted to be back then).

Like I said, this song has evolved in meaning for me since I first heard it more than 10 years ago. But that’s fine, because I have evolved along with it. I think that’s the beauty of music. It hits differently at different times. The meaning changes as the listener changes. It’s definitely a beautiful thing.

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