Screenshot Saturday
This week’s screenshot is actually from a few days ago and not from the “archives” of my camera roll. I saw it on Facebook and immediately had thoughts on it. I also immediately followed the person who posted it.
What struck me initially was the first part about family that “only met the version you became to survive”. It immediately reminded me of a home movie we had. When I was 11 or 12, my parents and I were spending the day with some friends of theirs on a lake in Georgia. My father was filming me on the inner tube being pulled behind the boat. While the camera was on me, I could hear the conversation my parents were having with their friends on the boat. I don’t remember what question someone asked, but my father’s response was, “No. We’ve never had a problem with her.” Obviously meaning me.
The reason they never had a problem with me is because I had already learned to walk on eggshells at home, lest I make my father very angry at me. I had already learned about the safety in keeping silent. So of course I wasn’t a problem. I was doing what I had to do to survive.
Then there’s the second part of the post I screenshotted—the people who actually love you will see who you always were once you start healing. It’s very true. Since I’ve been healing, I have changed. Drastically. But as I’ve come to understand, I haven’t actually changed. The person I always was is who’s visible now. Because for the first time in my life, the safety is no longer coming from being silent. It’s coming from the bravery in being who I am.
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