Thoughts on Mental Health Thursday
Whenever I am in a position to give advice about getting help for mental illness, I immediately think back to two resources that helped me tremendously.
The first is this book, Cutting by Steven Levenkron
I randomly came across this book when Josh and I were browsing Waldenbooks at the mall in the early days of our relationship. I bought it because I was deep into my self-harm addiction and I didn’t know why I was so compelled to cut myself. If I didn’t know why, I couldn’t explain it to anybody else. My mother and Josh were continually getting upset with me about it. Obviously they didn’t want me to do it. No one of us understood it. Until I read this book.
As I read it, I highlighted parts that resonated with me and helped me to understand my reasons for hurting myself. The biggest take away from this book was that I cut myself because I was in so much emotional distress internally. I couldn’t control the internal pain. Medication wasn’t helping and there was nothing I could do to make it stop. Which added to the distress. But physical pain, like from cutting myself, that was something I could control. There were other things about it that made sense. But that was the biggest thing that stood out to me.
I left the book out on the coffee table one night after my mother had gone to bed. I think I left her a note and asked her to read the book. She did. And she wrote me a note back thanking me for it because now she understood my self-harm behavior so much better. She was a lot more patient with me after that.
I have a new copy of this book. I’d like to re-read it at some point and see if I can remember the parts that were important to me. The copy I had with all of my highlights and notes in it was lent to somebody that Josh knew from work. Their spouse was cutting themselves and Josh remembered this book had helped all of us understand the behavior. I gave him the book to lend. I never got it back. But that’s o.k. I hope it helped that person and their spouse. I also hope that perhaps they also gave the book to someone else who needed it.
The other resource I frequently share is the website: Psychology Today
It was recommended to me by a psychiatrist that I had at one point. This website is where you can search for therapists in your area. It shows their picture, their name, their areas of specialty, what type of appointments they offer (virtual or in-person), accepted insurance, all the things.
I used it to connect with a therapist a few years ago. She was good for a while but then she left the practice. I found her after having one session with someone else and realizing I really didn’t like that person. The therapist I have now, the one who has helped me in such profound ways over this past year and a half, she was listed on the website. I found her that way as well. It’s a fabulous resource and I always recommend it to people who ask me how I found my therapist. There’s also helpful articles and other information on there too.
In general, there are resources out there. I think the biggest reason people don’t seek help for mental health issues is that they don’t know where to start looking. Psychology Today is an invaluable tool, in addition to an almost overwhelming number of books and other print resources. I hope people will start wherever they can. The most important thing is that they just start.
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