I recently saw a few things online, a clip of a celebrity interview on the Graham Norton Show, a comment thread on a random post in a group I’m in on Facebook, and the common theme of these tidbits was that gift-giving at Christmas should only be for kids. The rest of Christmas—the meal, the time with family and friends—that’s what should be for adults. As adults, if there is something you want to buy for yourself, just buy it. A lot of people seemed to be in agreement with that idea. Not me though. This notion really rubbed me the wrong way. My husband and I have been together for 24 years, which means we have exchanged gifts with each other for 24 Christmases. We don’t have kids and our Christmas Days together are usually just us. It was us and his mom until three years ago when she passed away. I have never thought there was anything strange about the fact that he and I buy gifts for each other. We wrap them on Christmas Eve, put them under the tree in the middle of the night or early on Christmas morning without the other seeing. Then we sit on the floor and open our gifts. It may seem childlike, but I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
Of course, as I overanalyze everything that makes me think, I really started to think about why buying things that you want instead of receiving them as gifts work for some people over other people. Ultimately, I think it comes down to a person’s attitude about money and the whole concept of needs vs. wants.
My husband and I make enough money that our bills are taken care of each month with money left over. And we do buy things for ourselves throughout the year that we want. Our subscription to Amazon Prime more than pays for itself with what we save on shipping costs. But we don’t buy extravagant things that might ordinarily be saved for Christmas gifts. For example, I’ve been wanting a pair of Apple air pods. I’ve never had a pair and with as much music as I’ve been listening to lately, I really wanted a pair. But I also know how stupid expensive the actual Apple product is vs. generic, off-brand versions. I certainly have had enough money left over after paying bills that I could have easily bought a pair at any point before Christmas. But I didn’t because I would always think, “Do I really need them?” And I would eventually decide to not buy them in favor of using the money later in the month for buying dinner out or doing something else a little more practical. So I was very appreciative that my husband got me a pair for Christmas. It was the perfect opportunity. I hadn’t bought them for myself, but certainly enjoyed receiving them as a gift.
The same was true for my husband. Recently, I took a mental note when he would say things like, “You know what I’d really like…?” That’s how he ended up receiving a cornhole set for Christmas with his alma mater logo on it. He wanted it, but I doubt he would have ever bought it for himself because we don’t really need it. And truthfully, he is more frugal with money than I am. Also, cornhole sets are expensive! Something I didn’t know until I searched online for one to get him.
Some of the things we each received weren’t as expensive and maybe we would have eventually bought these things ourselves…like the black ankle boots he got me, or the journals and pens. But it really is the thought that counts too. One of my favorite things that I got him was a fancy frame to hold his degree, and a copy of his degree that I ordered from his school because he had long since lost the original. He has commented several times that he wished he could find it, so I went ahead and got it for him. (Diploma frames are something else that are more expensive than I expected)!
I say all of that to say that the idea of Christmas gift-giving only being for children is just not an opinion I agree with. Of course, it’s the internet and opposing views and opinions abound! With that said, what do you think? Please share with me your take on this. I’m genuinely curious about what others think because until this year, I really had no idea that people had this opinion about Christmas presents.
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