Under Pressure No More

I have a tendency to read what everyone else says in response to these daily prompts before I answer it myself. I almost skipped over the question today because I didn’t have an answer. My first thoughts went to the things I know how to do…crochet, knit, etc. I don’t know how to do those differently. But in reading what other people said, I think this question is much more philosophical. What could I do differently vs. what should I do differently? What could I do vs. what will I do? After thinking on that, I’m pretty sure that I could (and will) stop putting pressure on myself.

I had an ambitious New Year’s resolution where I was going to work my way up to running 10 miles at once. It was going to be my way of finishing what I started when I was training for a half-marathon in 2020, the year Covid ruined everybody’s plans, and lives for that matter. I even had ChatGPT create a running plan to help me work my way up to it. I did day 1 of the plan…ran 1 mile. I did day 2…rest. On day 3, when I was supposed to run 1.5 miles, my legs were still incredibly sore from day 1 so I skipped it. Day 4 I stressed all day about catching up on the plan, but I had gone back to work after the holiday and had a therapy appointment that evening. When would I have time? So I didn’t run. On day 5, I finally said screw it, I’m not doing this. And it’s because I really didn’t like the feeling of the pressure I was putting on myself to follow a plan that I voluntarily created. My work schedule makes it hard to run after work and I like sleep too much to do it in the morning. Is running 10 miles so important to me that I’m willing to feel anxiety about sticking to my goal? Is any resolution that important? The simple answer is, no. To me, it’s not worth it.

So what could I do differently? Already did it. I’m not pressuring myself to do anything I don’t want to. If I feel like doing it, I will. If I don’t, I won’t. And I’m good with that.