Yes, I have unintentionally broken the law. And I’m only admitting that publicly because I’m almost certain every law enforcement officer in my state knows that I have. In fact, I’m also almost certain that there’s some alarm or sensor that goes off every time I get into my car. It puts them on alert so that they are ready to pull me over at a moment’s notice. And to be fair, they have good reason to be ready. Simply put, I speed. A lot. It’s not always intentional either. Sometimes I am keenly aware that I am going well over the speed limit. However, this last time I got pulled over, I was just really getting into the Hamilton soundtrack while driving along a clear part of the interstate. I was singing about Washington’s “Right Hand Man” when that state trooper made a dramatic entrance behind me. At that point, I accepted defeat and didn’t even try to talk my way out of the ticket. The trooper only wanted to know that my sunglasses were prescription since my driver’s license says I have to wear corrective lenses. He gave me my ticket and I was back on my way to my knitting retreat in New York. By the time I got back home several days later, I already had a stack of advertisements in the mail from local lawyers.
This happens a lot. In fact, getting pulled over for speeding happens so much that if I were taking a lie detector, I wouldn’t be able to honestly answer how many times I’ve been pulled over. I’m not bragging. I’m really not. But if cops had punch cards for us to collect punches every time they get us, I’d have a few of those filled up.
You might be thinking, just slow down! And you’d be right. I could just slow down. And I do now! In the areas where I’ve been pulled over and I know the cops like to hang out. But it’s not always speeding that gets me. One eager cop pulled me over one time for not coming to a complete stop before turning right on red. Really?!
Of course, there was also the time when the Covid lockdowns had just started and long story short, I ran a stop light. The cop insisted I ran two red lights and almost hit his cruiser. Which is probably why a fleet of his fellow officers pulled in behind us and I actually feared being arrested for wreckless driving or attempted murder by red light running or something. In my defense, I was listening to GPS and trying to see the sign for where to get onto the interstate from downtown Raleigh. I was looking through the intersection, rather than at the light, which turned red before I had time to notice and react. The ticket ultimately was for running only one red light and I didn’t get arrested. I think they were just bored because it was around lunch time and with the lockdowns just starting, I was almost the only one on the road. My husband was an essential worker and I had to bring him something at work. They did ask about that since my mere presence on the road was suspicious enough. Fun fact, that ticket was bad enough with my other driving history that the lawyer told me that it was going to be dismissed, only if I didn’t get another violation for 3 years! And not just me! If my husband got a violation within 3 years, my ticket would be reinstated. Dude! I did make it three years without another incident, just sayin’. I am capable of behaving behind the wheel.
I mean, I could also tell you about the time I had a headlight out and my husband and I ended up bent over the trunk of my car getting searched because when they ran my name in their system it said I was wanted in Florida for grand theft auto. That, funnily enough, was another example of me not wearing a bra in public and having to admit to the cop that I wasn’t wearing one. He had told me to put my thumbs behind my bra to push it forward so anything I was hiding would fall out.
All of that is to say, cops love me. The fact that I unintentionally (sometimes intentionally) commit traffic violations keeps them meeting their ticket quota. Whether that ticket quota “thing” is a myth or not, someone is getting good practice with traffic stops when I come by.
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