Big Sister Doing Big Sister Things

My angry, bitter side wants to respond to this prompt with a lot of snarky things about things family—my parents—did that were positive in disguise. For example, my dad forcing me to go to a college I didn’t want to go to was actual for the best because when he randomly abandoned us five months into my first year of college, my mental health spiraled downward so quickly and fiercely that had I gone to the school I wanted, I would have been too far away from my boyfriend (now husband) who was literally by my side to help me through everything.

I’ve got lots of things I could say like that, instead, I’ll say that a positive thing lately that has been done was done by my oldest sister. She is the only family member who has known about my writing this whole time and talks to me about it. She has voiced her support repeatedly, despite the fact that she knows there is a period in our lives where I might not have good things to say about her and what we went through. Other family members seem very preoccupied with their own lives to care much about mine. That’s ok, that’s how it is. I’m busy with my own life a lot of times too. But she and I have done a lot of talking over the last several months. The kind of talking where we trauma bond over the past and what’s to come in the future since we both have the same political views. We just talk. And that’s great because I haven’t really done that lately with any other family members. It’s hard to talk to other family like I do with her because the vibe is not as genuine with them. Our mother, in fact, seems to have absorbed the narcissism that my father exudes. Something else that I’m working on in therapy.

I suppose the best way to summarize the “positive thing” is that she made, and continues to make, an effort. She genuinely cares what’s happening with me and I’m the same way with her. It’s possible that our other sister and even our mother care, but they don’t show it as well as she does. It almost makes me wish that I lived closer to her so we can have these talks in person. For now, I’m just fine living 700 miles away. It keeps me safe from whatever drama may be unfolding with other family who all live in the same area as her. There may come a day when I can think of other positives quicker, but today, in this mental space, I’m thinking of her. And I’m good with that.