How do you celebrate holidays?
When I was a kid, holidays, particularly Christmas, were big family affairs. Probably not as big as some families though. My two older sisters would fly down to Georgia from Cleveland and spend the holiday with us. They lived with their dad and visited a few times a year. Christmas morning was my grandpa and Grandma Jean coming over at 5am to open presents because grandpa was a big kid and was just as excited as I was to open presents. My sisters and I had been camped out in my room the night before, which was tradition so that my parents could be sure I wasn’t peeking into the living room before morning. My sisters were the unofficial bouncers of the bedroom door. On Christmas morning, the three of us would sit in a row on the couch while grandpa passed out presents with his Santa hat on. Enjoy this throwback to one Christmas morning in the late 80s/early 90s:
Thanksgiving doesn’t hold as many strong memories as Christmas. I remember the food, but my sisters didn’t come down for that holiday. They spent it with their dad.
Over the years, I slowly got used to smaller and smaller holidays. When my parents and I moved to North Carolina, there was maybe one more Christmas when my sisters and grandparents were there. After a while, it was just my parents and me. But I had gotten older and understood about some traditions not being able to continue.
After I met my husband and my parents got divorced, the holidays were very much not what I could recognize. Nothing about them was the same. For a few years, I travelled to Ohio to be with my mom and sisters for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Often having two Christmas celebrations, one with my then fiancé once I returned home.
Then the year came when I decided to stay with Josh for the holidays. That was emotional at first, but Josh and I were building our own memories and traditions and I had gotten to the point where that was more important to me than being with family at that time.
Josh and I have been together for 25 years and so, for about 20 of those years, we’ve celebrated the holidays together. His mom joined us for every one of them. For Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s, we’d all have a meal together, just the three of us. At one point we started taking a selfie after each meal. Those are pictures that I treasure the most now that his mom has passed.
From her last Thanksgiving with us:
And one last Christmas:
2021 was the first year the holidays became an occasion for just the two of us. It made me think of this picture my Grandma Jean had taken of my grandpa on their first Thanksgiving together. It was just the two of them and yet, grandpa looked so happy!
The first holiday without my mother-in-law was definitely rough. The second year was emotional as well because at that point, we had moved into her house, which she had left to Josh. This was his childhood home and celebrating the holidays there without his mom tugged at our hearts. But, we did have a third family member to share it with. Our beloved rescue boy, Rocky, was with us.
Josh and I made sure we continued the tradition of setting the table with beauty and elegance for our meal.
Christmas looked like this the year with Rocky. Relaxing in the living room by our tree, with something random playing on tv. This is ultimately how we celebrate the holidays. Not much different from our regular routine, just with pretty decorations in the background.
Rocky was only with us for one holiday season. Though we were devastated by his early departure from our lives, Millie made our group a threesome again the next year.
She was just as spoiled as Rocky. Yes, that is Josh pouring gravy onto her miniature plate of Thanksgiving goodies.
Our selfie that year featured our best girl.
I printed this picture and kept it in a frame on my desk during my year as a principal. I was so content and happy being at home with Josh and Millie during those Thanksgiving days off. It made me feel a little bit of it when I looked at the picture during particularly troubling work days, which, that year had many days like that.
For Christmas that year, it was an effort to keep pictures like this one from happening too frequently. RIP to some of my favorite ornaments.
Last year, Ethan joined us just in time for Christmas.
It’ll be the four of us again this year. Well, 6 if you count the kitties who reside in the other half of our house. Sometimes I wish we had more seats filled at our table when we enjoy our traditional holiday meals. But honestly, I really love the simplicity of it just being Josh and me. It’s quiet, it’s intimate, and it makes me happy.
This year we’re toying with the idea of doing something radically different. Maybe renting a cabin in the mountains for Thanksgiving and maybe going to a fancy restaurant that’s open, instead of cooking. Maybe we’ll go somewhere for Christmas, instead of sitting at home. Wherever we go will have to have access to a tv so I can catch some of the 24 hours of a “A Christmas Story” marathon that plays every Christmas Eve. But other than that, I think we’re ready to try something new. And if we don’t like it, there’s always next year to return to our simple traditions. No matter what we end up doing, we’ll be together, and in all my life of celebrating holidays, that has become the most important way for me to celebrate, with the one I love the most.
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