Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?
Last year I reflected on the fact that as a teacher, I was always on. You have to perform and talk in front of people all the time. In all the leadership roles I had, I also had to give speeches. Or at least talk in front of a large group. Frequently. I got used to it.
Before that though, I had to take a public speaking class in college. I think it was part of my English concentration. It would make sense if it was part of my teacher class requirements, but really, I think it was English. I remember that I did really well with writing the speeches, not so much in delivering them because I had rehearsed them so many times that my tone of voice became almost mechanical when I actually got up in front of my class to give them.
By the end of the class though, I had gotten a lot better and came away with an A in the class. I suppose I got good enough to make my professor invite me to participate in some sort of showcase she put together with some of her students. She invited the other professors of the English department to come watch us perform our best speeches from the class. This was towards the end of the semester and when she reviewed all the speeches I had given during the class, she picked one for me to deliver that is almost a foreshadowing.
My speech started with me talking about my subscription to Seventeen magazine when I was a teenager and how I had read an article about young girls who intentionally cut themselves. I described my shock at reading about girls who did that and then my transition to becoming a girl who did it too. And then ultimately how I healed and overcame my need to do it.
I really wish I had a copy of my notes from that speech. I’d like to refresh my memory about what I shared then. My healing journey was in its very infant stage then. There was so much more trauma and suffering to come and I didn’t know it. But also, an even greater and more powerful journey to good mental health after that.
It seems like a full-circle moment somehow that I got up in front of strangers 20 plus years ago and told them about my mental health journey and here I am again, sharing my journey with strangers. Both with the same purpose—to bring hope to those who struggle and awareness to those who love them.
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