I have never gone to a bar or a club and danced. When I was of the age to go out and do that, I was in college at a tiny little school in a tiny little town that was literally a 10-mile drive down a corn field to get to the school. I don’t know where there was even a club that we could have gone. Our parties were at off-campus apartments and houses that students had rented. But also, in those prime partying years, I was battling severe bipolar and borderline personality disorder. Dressing up and going to clubs was not a priority at the time.
Now though, I see videos on social media a lot from people I follow who recreate the outfits and dance moves they used in their younger days. These are people my age and it’s always funny to see how we’ve aged and can’t do those dances anymore where you basically shake your butt, bend your knees, and “get low”. I don’t think I have rhythm like that.
But it looks fun! So I recently decided to add that to my bucket list. To dance in public. My husband’s nieces have gotten married over the past few years and there’s always lots of dancing at their receptions. I have watched with a sort of longing to go out there and dance with everybody else. I think my introvertedness and self-confidence has been the primary thing that has kept me seated during those events.
Last night though, his youngest niece got married and I decided that was the night I was going to finally dance along. I had a few drinks for courage. Though they were not very strong and really didn’t contribute to my final decision to go out there and dance. I waited for a song that was vaguely familiar and then went out there and danced with my husband’s nieces (all in their 20s) and his sister (age redacted to protect her privacy, though she is the oldest). I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, so I just mimicked what the girls were doing. They clearly had experience dancing in a crowd.
I danced for a couple songs. Most notably was the song “Poison” by Bel Biv Devoe. Definitely a song of my generation and one that I really got into, including singing the part in the middle that begins “Can’t get her out of my mind”. And you know what? I wasn’t self-conscious. I wasn’t embarrassed and I actually enjoyed it. Now, to be fair, as the night progressed, I definitely sat out the rest of the songs. When that one song with the lyrics “from the windows to the walls” came on…I was not tempted for even a second to go out there and dance to that one. That was clearly a young person’s song, which may still be from my generation, or at least when I was in college, but that’s one of those “get low” songs and my dancing skill set is not on par with the dancing required for that song. And I’m ok with that, I know my limit.
I also know that I really don’t feel the need to dance like that again anytime soon. If someone else gets married and there’s a reception, I’ll be more willing to go out there and dance now that I’ve done it once. Maybe next time it will be a warm season and I’ll be able to wear short sleeves. My tattoos always give me confidence but I had a long-sleeved dress on last night.
Truthfully though, no amount of ink on my body will give me enough confidence to “get low” to any song that’s played in public. Just sayin’.
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