Just a Job

List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

It’s awfully bold of WordPress to assume that if money didn’t matter, I would consider pursuing a job at all, much less three. Why would I work if I don’t have to? Isn’t that what volunteering is all about? Which, I’m pretty sure we’ve been asked about before.

I feel like everything I’m thinking in response to this question, I’ve said before. I was about to mention the job I applied for that would have me working for the county library delivering book requests to homebound senior citizens in the community. How fun would that be?! I applied but didn’t get picked for it. Not even an interview. Pay wasn’t great either. I briefly considered applying to be a counter clerk/receptionist at a local tattoo parlor. Again, pay was terrible. Actually, I don’t think it was the pay, it was the fact that it was part-time and thus, no benefits. Then there was the job at the botanical gardens. I applied to be one of those people who teaches kids groups when they come to visit. But during the interview, when the CEO heard about my administration experience, he propositioned me to work on their admin team. But for pay that was laughable given the work they were asking me to do. I hated to turn it down, but there wasn’t even a promise that I would eventually get a raise. It was dependent on what kind of business they did that year.

Obviously if I didn’t have to work, I would spend my time pursuing a writing career. I would spend more time actively building my platform and actually writing. In fact, my husband made a joke last night about me hurrying up and getting my book published so he could quit his job. I need to quit mine so I have time to write that book! It’ll happen when it happens. I did get some great feedback on an essay I submitted recently though. I paid extra so that I would get a quick decision and a few lines of feedback from the readers. I expected a rejection. I’m kind of used to them by now. But what I didn’t expect was just how much feedback came with the rejection. I thought it would only be a few lines. Which it was, but a few lines from about seven or eight readers! They had very encouraging things to say about what I submitted. Their “needs improvement” comments were things that I had actually thought myself would improve the essay. I originally wrote it for a contest that had a strict word count limit. I felt very constrained by that number and came one word shy of the max. I cut more than I wanted and had to be brief in places that these readers wanted me to be more reflective and descriptive. To use a very trendy word, the feedback was very validating. It was encouraging because what I submitted is very similar to what I will be making my book about. So, I’m going to focus on editing my essay and sending it back out into the world and see what happens.

Back to jobs though…this week I had a frustrating couple of days interacting with someone who just really infuriated me. To be fair, this person has that same effect on everyone else too, so I’m not special in that regard. I was proud of myself though because instead of stewing about it, my first thought was to fire off an email to this person, very professionally worded I might add, expressing my thoughts. I went home that evening with a little bit of anxiety. I chalked it up to residual anxiety from the anger I had felt earlier that day. At one point, I asked myself something that I often said when I first got this job. I used to say that my worst day at this job is still better than any random day at my old job. I asked myself if that’s still true. And it is. The crazy part is, I think God heard me say that and sent me a dream to drive home how right I was.

That night, I dreamt that I was back at my old job. I was visiting though. I was no longer the principal. I was just there. But my “mentor” was the principal again and I was there at the end of the day when she was making afternoon announcements over the PA system. Her “announcements” contained messages that were her usual method of driving fear and anxiety into us. As I walked down the hall, the teachers and kids were dismissing for the day. One of the teachers who made my year as principal particularly miserable, was walking out of a classroom. Another teacher that I considered a friend was there. I tried to get her attention but she ignored me. I stepped off to the side as the building cleared out. My “mentor” eventually came down the hall. She saw me and I saw her and the anxiety struck me instantly. She kept walking though, and I felt like I couldn’t move. But then, one of the ladies that I work with now, who is my favorite person to work with, she came down the hall at that moment, grabbed my elbow and led me out of the building and said something like, “Let’s go. You don’t need to be here.”

That was absolutely a sign. Everything in that was symbolic. I woke up the next day and at work, there was a moment when I got riled up again dealing with this one person. But I had moment of God putting hands on my shoulders and saying “let it go”. And I did. I stopped feeling angry and told myself, it is what it is. Fighting with this person is not going to do any good. She is who she is and she’s going to keep doing what she’s doing. Whatever. I’m just going to go with the flow. And honestly, it made the 3-hour meeting with her at the end of that day a little easier to handle.

I reminded myself that this is just a job. Like I said at the beginning, if money didn’t matter, I wouldn’t even be at this job. Because I wouldn’t need it. Who actually wants to work anyway?