Talk About it Tuesday
Today is Tuesday. I’m home from work because my furry bestie, Faye has a vet appointment and I have my own “vet” appointment later this afternoon. That means I have only three more work days this week. Next week, I took Monday off because I have sick time to burn—I won’t get compensated for days I don’t use—so why not grant myself a 3-day weekend? Then, three more work days and then my last day on Friday. I’ll be leaving at 12:00 that day because again, it’s my last day, why not?
All of that is to say, my job is coming to an end. As I have trained myself to think, it is just that, a job. I have no regret about moving on from it. But here’s where I’m conflicted. Can a job still be “just a job” if it’s important and what you do really matters?
My current job is very routine. It involves schedules and contracts. Actually, as I tried to think of other routine things I do, I realized it really is just schedules and contracts. Making sure there are instructors for the classes on the schedule. A schedule that I have created. It’s requesting contracts before a class and processing rosters after a class has finished. Even with the summer program I supervise, schedules, contracts, and ordering supplies.
I’m sure what I do is important and matters to the overall mission of the school, but these are simple classes that I supervise. They don’t count toward a degree. Some of them do lead to licensure and certification.
Without giving away too much about where I’m going next—I worry about doxxing, not that I post things that could get me fired—I am going to be doing a job at a different school for a program that really matters. I don’t know what exactly the details of my job will be and what day-to-day work will look like, but the program I’ll be working for is actually much bigger than a program. It’s a whole school of medicine. The students that are admitted are there to become doctors. That’s important. The classes and programs I work with now are also important, but in a vastly different way.
I feel like my new job will have weight to it. Like it has the potential to be more than “just a job”. This could be the job from which I retire. There’s going to be meaning and value to it. Should I start from the beginning to distance myself emotionally from it and continue the idea of it being only a means of income and health insurance? Is it possible to value what I do and care deeply about it but still maintain the boundaries that I have set for myself where my work/home life balance is concerned? Would it be alright if I became a little more invested in it? I don’t expect to have to bring work home. Though travel was in my job description.
These are things I’m wondering as I countdown to the end of my current job and the beginning of my new…career? I’ve always said that I already had a career, now I just want a job. Could that still be true? Even with this new job?
Honestly, this is a wait and see kind of thing. I am going to look forward to the rest of this month. Two more weeks with scattered days off. Then two weeks, with a weekend in the middle that I will use to travel to Cleveland to hang out with my oldest sister. When I start at the new place on the 30th I’ll just have to see how it goes. I think too, that however I feel about it when I get there is o.k. As my sister reminded me today, I was excited about my current job when I first started. And I’m excited about this one too. It’s different, it’s new, it’s in a new environment. However, it’s not going to be my whole life because this is my life. Writing. Reading. Knitting. Crocheting. Spreading my message about mental health. This is what’s the most important to me. My job can be important too. Both things can be true. It’s o.k. I’ll be o.k.
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