Screenshot Saturday
This week’s screenshot came up in my memories on Thursday. I had saved it three years ago. If memory serves, three years ago, I was beginning to come to the end of my first year of grad school. While my second year, the internship year, was the worst, the first year was certainly no picnic. I had to attend classes and complete all the necessary work that went along with the classes, while also teaching full-time and keeping up with all the extra duties and responsibilities I had. I was not allowed to give up any of them because that would look suspicious and people would wonder what was going on. I couldn’t tell anybody that I was in grad school. At least not until after my “mentor” had announced it after spring break that year. So by the time March came around, I am sure all of these reminders were important for me to remember.
Back then, I can imagine the last three things on this list appealled to me the most. I had just started a journey to a new future for myself that was not at all what I thought it would be.
Three years later and knowing that the future I was expecting back then (i.e. being the principal of my school) is not the life I have now, the first three are what resonates with me now. My body has definitely changed in three years. From a state of pure unhealthiness from the stress and anxiety to a much healthier version that needs a different kind of care, thank you for that perimenopause. I also take care of it by making it pretty with tattoos. Which ties in nicely to the reminders about my stories and my feelings. My entire left arm of tattoos tells my story and validates my feelings.
I think all of these reminders are good, but especially that second and third one. Our stories are worth telling. I say it all the time, people need to know. They need to know so many things about life and what we have been through and how we have survived it. There are lessons there. Also, our feelings are indeed worth respecting. All feelings are valid. It took me a while to fully embrace that idea. Therapy taught me that there aren’t feelings I should or shouldn’t feel. Anything I feel is o.k. Anything you feel is o.k. And let me also add, there’s no time limit on feelings. I often complained to my therapist that I “should be over it by now”. She always disagreed and helped me understand the flaw in my thinking that way. She taught me to give myself grace with how I feel. One of many good lessons I learned from her.
So, with March being barely a week old, I hope some of the reminders on this list have meaning for you as much as they did for me when I first saw them three years ago.
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