Thoughts on Mental Health Thursday
I have changed over the past two years. I have written about it extensively on this blog. People change. Not always for the better, but in my case, it was a very good thing.
Yesterday, a friend of mine who still works at the place I left two years ago told me about someone we worked with who is apparently not happy with what he sees in my social media posts. According to my friend, he’s mad that I am saying I hate that place, even though I’ve never said that. I have referred to it as a toxic workplace in several posts. He has taken it upon himself to show my posts on his phone to anybody who will listen. He has strong negative opinions about my tattoos too. I had tattoos back then, just not this many or this large.
Here’s the thing, I was friendly with him when I worked there. He and his wife worked at that school long before I started working there at the beginning of my 19 years. Their kids went to that school. When I left, my friend who worked closely with me was the only one who knew the real reason I was leaving. Well, she and the pastor who was technically my boss. I kept silent about the toxicity from certain people that caused me to leave. So it stands to reason that he would be confused and surprised by my expression of relief for not working there anymore.
I guess change doesn’t sit well with some people. Apparently neither does tattoos.
And to be fair, for 19 years he knew me as one type of person. The ideal Catholic school teacher who was devoted to her job and her church community with a fierce loyalty. I suppose it’s hard for him to process that I’m just not that person anymore.
When my friend told me about his protest of me, I initially felt bad. For lack of a better word. The kind of bad that I used to feel when I thought I was in trouble. But honestly, that feeling was only a residual memory. It didn’t feel nearly as strong as it would have two years ago and it definitely didn’t last very long. I unfriended both he and his wife on Facebook and I blocked them from my profile. It’s actually a public profile so I don’t think being blocked from it actually prevents them from seeing it if they searched for it. I don’t know how it works. That cuts off his fuel for sharing his negative opinions of me, but now I kind of wish I had waited to do that.
Changing into the person I am now means I have developed quite a streak of pettiness. Since he doesn’t like my tattoos, I made a video collage of pictures of my tattoos set to the song “abcdefu” by Gayle. I posted it on all of my social media platforms. This is my favorite picture from those that I included:
The thing about mental health is that as you heal, you grow, you change, and you become a better version of yourself. I don’t blame him for not understanding that because he never knew anything was wrong to begin with. I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed those posts to my old “mentor”. It tickles me to think that he did. She deserves to know how I really feel just as much as anybody else.
But I digress. Healing is a messy process. But the version of you that comes out on the other side of it is such a magnificent new creation that deserves to be seen and heard. Tattoos and all.
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