Screenshot Saturday
Today’s screenshot is a little different from my typical screenshots. It’s not something I saw online that I saved. Last night, while working on transcribing volume 8 of my journals, I came across a line that spoke to me. So I took a “screenshot” of that journal page to share.
This was written on July 5, 1998. I had just finished the 10th grade and was contemplating what to do about the horrible reputation I had at school. I had a habit of saying and doing things with the boys that were definitely on the provocative side. I desperately wanted a boyfriend, and was still hopelessly emotionally connected to two boys that were out of my reach.
Here’s the line that struck me as I read this again last night:
“It’s time for me to have some dignity and respect for myself”.
I don’t recall how well that proclamation did or did not age as I went back to school that fall. I’m almost done with volume 8 and will move along soon to find out.
But that line struck me because it made me think about what it means to have dignity and respect for myself as an adult. Google says to have dignity means that when you carry yourself you are maintaining poise, self-respect, and moral integrity. Further research says that maintaining poise means to stay calm, composed, and self-assured under pressure.
Having defined all of that, I can honestly say that I think I have a dignity that I didn’t have before. I’m thinking about the times at my last job where I got pretty mad at that one person. I still stayed calm, composed, and self-assured when dealing with her. Granted, I was professionally snarky in my responses to her and practiced malicious compliance on a regular basis, but that just shows I had self-respect. I was not about to bow down and let her walk all over me and get her way. And I did it in a way that showed moral integrity. I didn’t break any rules or do anything shady.
I’m really enjoying going through my journals like this. I keep finding gems like this that make me stop and think. In fact, in this same entry I talked about how I was enjoying the weekend with my parents and that it was nice bonding with them before I inevitably go off to college. Weird type of foreshadowing there because once I went off to college everything got very, very different with regard to my parents.
I’ll be sure to share the other pearls of wisdom that I come across in my literary journey through my adolescence.
Want to help me accomplish my dream of being a paid writer?
Buy me a coffee!Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok
Leave a Reply